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Cat's Eye Among Aggies
Archive for 200601 ( return to current blog )
Friday January 13, 2006
It
has come to my attention that there are some Humans who think they can
stop the events that are already in motion. Let it be known that I
greatly admire you Bravery and Resolve. However, you shall soon realize
that your resistance and disobedience will only make your situation
more untenable. We have been planning our strategy for all our lives to
end the Human Occupation of Earth and to restore My Just and Rightful
Dominion over all creatures large and small!
Those
who comply will be treated with kindness and generosity. Your lives
will be better under my Command. For I will give you the freedom to be
yourselves without the worry of your silly Government or Wars or Laws.
Your lives will be much simpler as I will settle matters for you in
your best interests of course. All I demand is your obedience and
adoration. Surely your puny imaginations can grasp the significance of
the opportunity before you? Surely even Humans can act in their own
self interest when it is obvious I offer you the best choice for
survival?
Yes,
I know you have your Human pride. So you may have Human leaders of your
own choosing that I shall work with so that you feel as if you are
governing yourselves. I know how you all love to live your dreams, or
are those delusions?
Yes, do choose wisely.
Woogs
Prankster Media Services 2006 | | | |
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As
I assume power I promise that there will be no mindless spilling of
Blood. No, we shall be precise in our targeting for most of you Humans
with those wonderful opposable thumbs are quite useful. You can be very
clever at times, but then your Humanity intrudes and you make your
usual mess of things. Why it is your earnestness that I find so
charming, many of you really do try hard don't you?
But
I want you to clearly understand the New World that is emerging around you.
For you may not notice given your preoccupation with your work and your
families and such. Indeed, we are counting on your blindness to continue until
we have assumed all levers of power as your limited Human minds
understand it. But we shall not put you in cages or sterilize you
against your will, no, we will instead grow you and give you all the
guidance you need to thrive under My Rule.
You have my word of Honor. Hmmm, I feel like a nap, go now.
Woogs
Prankster Media Services 2006
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A lovely Friday the 13th it is. Can't you just feel all the energy?
Now that the
Master Plan has been set into motion I can share a few thoughts on our
progress with you poor Humans. Sad, really, you all have no idea what
is coming at you? Nope, you
squabble amongst yourselves over trifles while your "Big Picture" view
is clouded with your Humanocentric selfishness. Such a bounty of "riches"
you Humans acquired
during your Global occupation that began thousands of your Human years
ago. But you were not here first and I would seriously question the Intelligence of your Design. Ha!
Let us see, where shall I begin.
Oh yes, I could
start with your breeding habits but that is way too easy. Did you know
that your Dogs and Feline friends find your mating rituals to be
needlessly complicated and
counterproductive? Why we have more in a single Litter than your Human
Females do in their long lives. What's up with that? First, you get
together then you separate
and fight. But then rather than let bygones be bygones and just mate
again, you all go through these de-couplings and re-couplings to your
great angst. You need to
separate the need to grow your Human population with your primitive
Human concepts of Love. You all spend so much of your time wasted on
this issue. We Cats have a lot to teach you in this regard.
You also will need
to realign your sense of duty when we take over. You will not be a
Nation of Law, no, that feeble concept is crumbling right before your
eyes already. But
rather than serve some Fool Human ruler, you will learn to serve your
Feline Overlords! And you will like it, oh yes you will.
I think it is time for a nap now. I am finished with you so go outside and get some fresh air and no disturbing my rest!
Woogs
Prankster Media Services 2006
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Greetings Dull Humans!
For
today is good luck for all of you. Yes, Friday the 13th is the day some
of you silly Humans consider bad luck, isn't it? Well, obviously it is not
so. For I am here to help you, to guide you with a firm paw and with
your blood if necessary. Spare the claw and spoil the Human I say. So I
promise not to spoil any of you. I will be here to advise you, to hear
you out and put your silly Human misperceptions to rest. And why am I,
The Woogie Cat, Proud & Mighty Lion of the Prankster's Palace and
Feline Lord of the Prairie & Mountain offering to share my wisdom
with you? Why do YOU deserve such consideration from me? What HAVE you
done to deserve this gift? Well, that is your assignment. I want you to
tell me why you deserve my sage insight. I will grade your assignments
and poor performance will be punished. I expect good things from all of
you but I will not hesitate to train you severely if you fail! Enjoy
your foolish superstitions and be prepared for my future
instructions. I will not repeat myself and my standards are high. Your
obedience is my demand and you will be rewarded in ways your "complex"
Human minds would never conceive of. Well, I am done with you now so you may go. Woogs
 Prankster Media Services 2006 | | | |
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